Shrek Forever After by Lauren Alexander

Author:Lauren Alexander
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2010-03-29T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

While Shrek was in the Dragon’s Keep, Rumpelstiltskin was sitting inside his conference room. He was fuming. How could his band of witches have let Shrek get away?

But he wasn’t about to give up. He’d capture the ogre, no matter what.

“Some people like to look at the goblet as half empty,” Rumpel said with a sigh. “Me, I like to look at it as half full.” He looked up and stared at the witches that sat around the large conference table.

“We’ve gone from the bottom to the top, ladies,” he continued. “But we’re not just an empire, we’re a family.”

Then, swiftly, Rumpel changed the subject. “Everyone’s got their cupcakes?” he asked. “Cupcake? Cupcake?”

Satisfied that the cupcakes had been distributed, Rumpel stood up and walked behind the seated witches, popping his head between them as he spoke. “You know we have put away a lot of ogres. And so one got away?” he shrugged. “Who cares? It’s not a big deal. Doesn’t matter to me. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

The witches nodded in agreement. Maybe they were going to get off the hook!

Then, suddenly, Rumpel hopped up on the table. “Except, funny thing, now that I think about it, the ogre who got away is Shrek,” Rumpel said, getting more agitated. “And if he shares a kiss with Fiona by sunrise, well, it is the end of the world. Our world! My empire !” By this point, he was shouting hysterically.

Rumpelstiltskin took a deep breath. He knew he needed a clear head in order to track down Shrek and maintain rule of Far Far Away.

“But as I was saying,” Rumpel continued. “I like to look at the goblet as half full.”

He reached over for a pitcher of water and a glass. But he was so preoccupied that the glass started to overflow. Seeing this, the witches gasped in terror, afraid that the spilling water might melt them.

“Would anyone care for some water?” Rumpel threatened the witches. “Wet your whistle? A clear, crisp, delicious glass of agua purificada? Anybody thirsty?”

Rumpel looked around at the petrified group. “Nobody’s thirsty? Well then, does anyone care to tell me what it’s going to take to get this ogre?” Rumpel pointed to a witch. “You?”

“Faster brooms?” a witch named Amber suggested.

“No,” Rumpel said.

“Pointier hats?” Griselda piped up.

“No!” Rumpel shouted, pointing at another witch.

“Maybe we could hire a professional bounty hunter?” the witch said.

“No!!” Rumpel was furious. What was wrong with this group? He tossed his glass of water in the witch’s face.

Instantly, the witch began to melt! “What a world . . . what a world . . .” she mumbled as she got smaller and smaller. And then—she was gone!

“Hmm . . . you know, actually, not a bad idea,” Rumpel said scratching his chin. Then he called for his head witch, Baba.

Nervously, Baba stood up. What was Rumpel going to do to her? She eyed the water pitcher. Would these be her last moments on Earth?

“I need a bounty hunter,” Rumpel told Baba.

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